some insensitive guy i m..

Asked her whether she got confidence to get an A for her maths..she retorted in anger...

"why r u like this?alwaes make a clear margin b/w u and me..."

i was dumbfounded by her words.wad's wrong wif asking her that?

she continued," ur not like other cancer guys lor..they are generally sensitive.."

she caught my tongue..i was still at a loss for words..nv in my whole life have i encountered such a 'spontaneous' rxn from a gurl..and coming out from the mouth of the one i liked too...

"..ur unlike..."then she stopped and paused for a moment.she din want to reveal the name of the person i was different from..

however,in a fraction of the second,i knew who she was comparing me to..it was her old flame...shan't reveal his name..tho she nv told mi in person that she had an ex..i knew who he was..saw him a few times at fotang too..it appeared that yz has a v gd impression of him..i knew i couldn't juz shut up and let her continue talking.to her hurtful words,i replied...in a light-hearted wae so as to lighten up the tense atmosphere..

"No!im gemini..not cancer!haha!'

"oh ya..i forgot ur gemini...sorry..im a very forthright and straightforward person.."she was quite embarrassed then..saw her awkward look..it was the kind of look where u see liao..u know she's feeling bad..

i explained,"that is how i chatted wif frens..dun u have any frens whu speak like dat too?"

she commented that maybe the circle of frens ard mi and her were different..even asked me whether my frens used vulgarities..i nodded...wad could i do?continuing debating wif her?dun wanna do that..realli liked her..when u love someone..u would do everything to make her happy.the prob is..i alrdy made her feel anguish over me..

actually..i feel that im at fault..knowing the sensitive her..i shouldn't have asked her like dat..perhaps i should have rephrased my words..its hard to change the style i tok..especially when im so used to conversing like that wif frens..but i would try to...be a more sensitive guy..was hurt by her words...really..but i'll ponder upon my past attitude towards her and modify myself..

have to keep my spirit high at all costs!

oh god..plz help mi..johny seow sms-ed me todae..asked mi when i could go see him to tok maths..i replied" i can't see u juz as yet...i haben even finish half of the syllabus!"....my heart sank in sorrow as i typed out the sms...sigh..

yes..its true..i haben even reached half of it...u ask mi stats that make up abt 33% of the total marks..i dunnoe..ask mi differentiation and integration...i would be baffled by wad u said( wad the hell is that?!)...queries abt complex nos and vectors?"im sorry..approach someone else plz.."...dats the severity of the issue here...im at my wits end too...

but as quick as lightning strikes me and i go dead wif white foam ard my mouth...i noe i have to stand up...not to all the tchers whu have taught us wif their hearts...but to myself...to do sth for myself..to achieve sth that i can be proud of myself and can tell myself "hey chris!u tried ur best!no regrets ya?"...i have to..i noe....keep my tots positive...no more regrets...no more tots of playing...ehh..less time of watching tv...(muz still watch..=D)....

wads my plan for now?im gonna do up a timetable..sth that i should have done a long time ago but been procrastinating about..its the last lap...i dun wanna lose the baton...carry on running chris....the final...last...100m...unleash the potential within..u gotta chris...;)

econs hard to study leh..=(

help sia!!feel like doing it lor!!

did i make wise choice by dropping physics?

i realised i got tonnes to cover for econs man..not like i dun understand the topics..its understandable and comprehensive..only that the contents..is all pure memory work..mus memorise like gu3 gua1 lan4 shu2 den can score like hell during the A lvls..

at some point of time..i regretted taking econs instead of physics..but my forte was in econs den..not physics..why drop a subject ur well-versed in and keep a subject that u've nv liked?

well..time to continue studying!jus completed liquidty preference theory and the loanable funds theory..v slow..but steady i hope..=P

你是我的女人..

see that pic?its me..

a really great song...the above one la..maybe u have it..maybe u dun..haha..its by andy lau and kenny g..an oldie..slow..and romantic..

*click here for the lyrics


its hard to get to mugging mode..especially when i keep thinking of tv shows to watch and games to play!temptation's there all the time..but its all in the mind...think i can...abstinence from tv and games..for a lvls..i can..i gotta..and i oughta...

cannot get myself to work proper..

damn chio lor!really my dream gal..heheh..realli like her a lot..

wah..long time nv update le..unlike those hardcore bloggers..can update everyday that kind...simply no time to la...have to mug...its kinda sad..exams are ard the corner and i know the fact that i'm not quite prepared for them...yup..regretted playing too much for the two whole years..all i can do now is chiong fullspeed...even if its po4 fu4 chen2 zhou1..im willing to settle for that too..desperate?ya...can sae that..haha...found out that im suffering from the same kind of illness which spiderman from the 9 o'clock serial is suffering from too..its wad we call the pre-exam blues...only heard of pre-natal blues right?apparently..the former one also exists in certain people..especially those who fret out at the mere sight of the examination dates...as the date of the first paper creeps nearer..and nearer..=/

for the past few daes..had a strange feeling..this kind of feeling really sucked...my mind was onli pre-occupied wif her..omg?im starting to like miss her jus after 3 daes of not meeting and seeing her...yesterdae smsed and asked her how her dae was..which of course ellicited a reply...she replied..however..it was in an adverse manner...kinda expected...din feel like replying i guess...an optimist would feel it this wae..she got replied ma...not bad liao...but the realist and occasionally pessimistic me,tho most of the time spirited and expectant,could sense that she wasn't in the least interested to tok to me..perhaps i've been involved in a one-sided affair..i realised this long time ago..but still i....is this how it is gg to be?is it the end?or maybe she's purely busy?no time to reply properly?wadever the case is..it juz made my heart ache la..=(

anyhow..im gg into NS fulltime next yr..definitely less time to see her..and wad a date...8th of april...dunnoe whether can push fwd or not..will try asking later in the afternoon...omg lor...5 mths!!if dun work ar...cfm will rot like hell at home de!if realli cannot push fwd...i'll have to decide on a job le...hmmm...let's see...a polite and cordial hotel restaurant waiter with good etiquette?or a witty salesman who can havelspeak with a forked tongue so as to boost sales?we shall see...=D