thinking of u again...

my mind is full of u again...

the impression of over-enthu religious pple

juz realised that the time in my blog is slower than the time in s'pore..wad's more..the time in my blog cannot be altered like previous posts..wtf..

alwaes had that impression of over-zealous religious pple...esp her...alwaes dragging pple to lectures,outings and parties to gain merits.

that's a stupid stereotype.

tot i offended the one i liked by telling her straightforwardly that i had that kind of impression of her in mind.

instead of blowing her top off,she calmly explained that it was character-moulding and discipline-instilling.furthermore,she commented that personally she viewed merits as secondary-sth that is of little imptance to her.

frankly..i dun think she would lie...she's not the type.v frank but sometimes blunt-words i would use to describe her..how would she lie wif those traits then?

she was sweet to have asked me and the others to attend the same 'course' she was taking too.

in the hope of giving us a chance to learn more stuff like moral values.

yet i doubted her intentions.

it's time...it's high time i change the way i've alwaes perceive them to be.

is he being unreasonable or is it my fault?

juz had a real heated quarrel wif my father.

he was playing wif my baby bro but kinda painful to the latter.

i then chided him for bullying him.in response he retorted to me to shut up.

i rebutted and asked how could i possibly..when mum had entrusted francis to me to look after.he insisted on his point that he was the head of household and no one had the rights to stop him from making the baby cry.

after exchanging a few more lines(more like devastating blows..),i was taken aback by the fact that he had actually regarded no one..except for francis as his son..he also said that my other brothers and i were nth more than a guest staying at his abode..once we turn 21..we're rdy to step out( he used gun3 chu1 qu4...) of the hse.

hatred developed in my heart..yet at the same time,i was deeply agonised by his replies.

how could he..being my father...have said all that?

wad abt the 18 yrs of education and care he gave me?all for naught?

my father,to whom i've alwaes looked up to and full of admiration for,was very angry that no one had regards for him.when he said this,i realised that it was true after all.my brothers and i had nv really sat down for a heart-to-heart talk with him.nv maintained any eye contacts with him too when he attempted to talk to us.it was like he was...transparent...

furthermore,he explained that whenever we had things to recount,we would not tell him but mum first..worst still..not even tell him when he asked us wad happened.this was also quite true.but seriously,i felt that if i had told him,he would have reprimanded us or give critical remarks,for which my brothers and i would have loathed.

dat's why we would nv tell him our personal stuff,heart affairs or any impt decisions we would want to make..

i guess we are all afraid of him.

"So to u..im nth more than a guest staying at ur hse?rdy to go off when im 21?"

"yes.so now..u DUN have the rights to stop me when i play with francis!"

with this,he trudged back to his room..



to all pple,plz..i beseech u to cherish wad u have now..make an effort to share the joys and sorrows wif ur parents..they would love to hear wad u've got to say..in fact..they want to hear them..

im off to the park now for a walk..

emotional wounds can be healed this way...i hope..

happy new yr~

hoho..i forgot to wish all a v happy new year.

may all our wishes come true!

paiseh..this entry should have come in earlier..in fact the dae b4.=P

nursery kiddo

todae i juz brought francis (yea..3 yrs old alrdy..but i still call him 'xiao baby'..) to the nursery.watching him grow up to a cute nursery kid is really interesting..rmbed the times when i had to pamper him when he was smaller then.

will nv forget those times..heheh..

some kids were alrdy crying when we reached there..but francis remained calm.'so brave?'i couldn't believe my eyes when i saw that he didn't make a din.

or was he too nervous for words?

hmm...

anywae..he played happily wif the plastic toy animals..juz like how he would do at home..haha..i think he got used to it liao.

when nearing the time to get home,francis was the first to stand!wah lau eh!so kiasu!!

juz like me.

on the wae home..it brought back memories of my own.

i still rmb vividly when i was in nursery.Mummies and daddies of other kids were alwaes on standby by the windows,looking out for their children,whether they cried or not.my mum wouldn't be there cux she had to do hsehold chores at home.

as a result,i would gaze wif envy as other mothers smiled sweetly to their children by the windows.alwaes wanted to cry..but alwaes managed to keep the composure.

however,sth happened on the 4th dae.

i cried.

juz after other kids were alrdy settled down, and have gotten quite used to having no mums or dads by their sides,tears welled up in my eyes.

now come to think of it...wtf happened?hmm...

haiz..15 yrs past by real snappily.now 18 liao.haha..seeing my bro go into the nursery really reminded me when i was young.

reminiscences of the past...eh?