why do u alwaes think that wae?

sadness was wad i felt when she said she felt sian listening to me...complaining or moaning..but tell me...under such tremendous stress...who wouldn't try to destress..be it pouring out his woes to a bosom fren...or shouting out aloud at the top of the roof or to the aqua-blue sea..or complain most sian-edly and whine like a hungry dog..

merely told her..'wah..u got do chem mcq?so fast!cham ar..haben touch chem mcq..haben do econs drq for prac..waaa..' and then came back the rebuttal..'i feel sian listening to u saying that u nv do work..why can't u jus do work whenever u assume i m hardworking?'

...why does she have to feel sian when im the one caught up in this f**ked up situation?

wouldn't her frens converse wif her like this too?

its perfectly normal to tok like this..isn't it?

wonder if she would go replying them like this if her frens were to say that to her...wonder how they would react if she suddenly exploded in front of them...

but...i wouldn't blame her..shes too decent a girl..with simple,happy tots of a guai nu hai...as a matter-of-fact..shes the most decent girl i have came across in my entire life of 18 yrs...^^..

how would the innocent her understand how the mind of a rotten guy like me goes and ponder....tot wad i accounted to her was perfectly ordinary..wad was then wrong wif wad i said?

would u go criticising others and tell him ur sian listening to him..when at that pt of time..he realli needed a listening ear...and what he got in return was a ranting mouth breathing down ur neck...

....i can onli deduce...that shes jus too pure and innocent..unique in some sense...dats why she had those thinkings..other girls would go crapping like carzee wif mi if i were to complain to them..but she din...shes all serious...and steadfast...

perhaps thats why i love her for wad she is...radically different from other girls...angelic...decent..undying and undisputed love for work,animals and veggies..and occasional playfulness and suan-ness she would let mi have a taste of..can't find even bits of impurities in her...^^...

a pity she doesn't know my feelings towards her..or maybe she does...and is trying all sorts of waes to reject mi...she wouldn't care less...think she still treats mi like her bro who's in dire straits...or maybe...a troubled fren...a fren who onli noes how to tok crappily...i jus can't change her mindset....

u mite sae:'OH CHRIS!! focus!! get alive! u still got ur A lvls to deal wif!! why get urself occupied over such trivial matters?'

i would reply,wifout hesitation:'its worthwhile..^^..i wouldn't mind...call it the power of love or love is blind or wadever..jus feel that wadever i tried to do...to make her happy and contented..was entirely worth the time and effort..'

she may not even turn out to like me in the end..but i feel that its worth the sacrifice...perhaps..thats the sacrifice that one has to make...if he loves someone truly...

know i shouldn't think abt this..especially when the A lvls are crashing down on me..and im not exactly prepared yet...but i jus can't...u think its so easy to let down the affairs of the heart and think properly?easier said than done....its not like i din try u noe..attempted countless times...but each time..jus when i tot the feelings have subsided...they would resurface..jus like a wooden cork striving against all odds..jus to get to the surface of the water....which again...rekindled the strong passion i had for her....jus can't forget her...erase her from my memories...

....

ARGH..chris!!u gotta focus!the A lvls!dun lose momentum over her now...its alrdy the final lap!either u suffer now and enjoy sweet ice-cream later...or play for the moment and eat bitter shyt for that....so...hows it gonna be,cool dude?